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You'd be surprised how much of the Christian population is like this tho. I have left congregations not because I didnt want to go to church, but because some of the ways that the majority of some of the members acted, the problem with typical christians is they dont use any critical thinking skills, such as for the swearing thing... most people are taught by thier parents that swearing is bad... but they never stop and ask why, its only offensive because what?... because we decided as a society that [censored] is worse than the word crap? but because our traditionalist mentality in the christian churchs deems it blasphemy if you disagree with a pastor, most people just march like puppets following this "tradition"

I agree with you 100%, yet your talking about a church dynamic as opposed to a Christian out in the world dynamic. I definitely see some unrealistic expectations from church pastors towards the church members, but thats different from how Christians portray things in the world. And I think thats a reason for a lot of confusion, I lay the blame mostly on the pastors and preachers.

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To be able to share a happy marriage you will have to "know" the person as good as you can.
and since sex is the most intimate situation you can get in with another person (or more ) you will have to take the step first to be able to judge right. anything else would be just guessing, if you are honest.



Your assuming that sex would help you determine if you loved someone, yet sex does in no way determine if someone is "loveable". Sex is an act that occurs with someone that you have already loved. If you can only determine that you loved someone based upon how happy you are when your having sex with them, then you are a shallow person indeed.

You talk about sex eliminating the guesswork. Yet sex is sex, if I see a girl that is very hot looking, I really dont need to have sex with her to know if the sex will be good, sex is definitely good with whatever girl your attracted to. Sex is universal not individual, sex will physically feel good with whatever girl you do it with.

And I also can tell you from experience that sex with someone you truly love is much more satisfying than with women that you dont love, and in some cases with women that you dont even particularly like.

So the whole idea of needing to know a girl sexually before you can determine if you love them is a lie, and it is the same lie which has been used by men to get women into bed for decades.

Sex is going to be good with whatever girl you are attracted to, whether she can hang off the ceiling fan during intercourse or whatever skill she has is no basis for a relationship, and is certainly no basis for love.

According to that mentality a guy would have to sexually sample as much of the female population as possible because "there can always be someone better"

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Very true, but it's about feelings, the emotional side. Off course it doesn't make a marriage better or more honest that way, true. However if you've found 'the one' so to speak, and it seems Nitro might have , you'd wish you had not give anyone other but her the full view into your life so to speak, so basically I understand where he's coming from and agree actually.

Ya, and you would be surprised how many people ask me how we managed to have such a happy marriage when their lives are so complicated and messed up. I have talked to many girls in their late 20's who now are wishing they had children or someone like me who would love them and committ, but now they are finding that guys simply dont want them as much because they are getting older and they have so much "experience". No guy wants to committ to them because they are all too busy having these tenuous relationships. Trust me, your early 20's dont last long at all.

edit:after all, noone wants to be stuck alone listening to old air supply songs, noone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lE6Htee0sA

Last edited by NITRO777; 05/11/07 14:50.