This could be useful(also could i swear that i read all manual sections starting with mouse_ more than a couple of times, still missed mouse_pointer though.), though i worked around the problem by using a transparent mousemap and drawing the cursor myself with dx9 myself on all windows. Also just setting mouse_mode to 0 and using SetCursor also flickers. I am not gonna go through all possible values and see what gives me which cursor. I just switched to using mouse_pointer=0 instead of using a transparent mouse map and still draw the cursors myself.

edit: went back to transparent mouse_map, because i want the mouse on the window frame too.