I know I'm late, but I just caught this post earlier this morning and I wanted to put in my contribution. I really tried to keep it short, but I sort of think I failed, although it's a LOT shorter than it looks, because of the style of dialog. I'm sorry, but I hope you like it anyway.

Edit: Oh crud, I just read the specs again, and this is probably more than 1 page. I'm so bad at cutting stuff out of my own work. Well, if nobody reads it because of that than... whatever. I enjoyed writing it anyway.


Chapter 1, introductions

Nyara the cat girl woke to a bird, frantically pecking her head.
"Wha?! HAAH! Geettoffamee!"
She flailed at the maddened thing as feathers flew into her mouth and eyes, and sharp jabs poked at her cheeks.
"Pfaah! Pfaah! Viagh BIR!!!"
Finally her tail connected. The creature flew away with a squeak, hit a tree, and skittered up it's bark, disappearing into the leaves.
Nyara made her best scowl into the green above. The effect dampened somewhat by the mess covering her head and face. As she picked feathers, fur and... it must be dirt, from her mouth eyes ears and hair she wondered (out loud as she often did).
"That wasn't really a bird at all. Why was it trying to eat me... or whatever?" She looked at a feather. It was yellow, long and laced with brown fur. She was really hungry.
"Why, you look like you've been sat on by a chicken." Nyara turned to see a tall, handsome man chuckling at her as he stepped over roots into the garden. "Whatever are you doing in my garden dear?" His smile grew warmer. He reminded her of her uncle back home, the way his eyes sparkled... or something else she couldn't place. She stood on her feet, still shaky from the attack. She'd been having such a nice dream too...
"I'm not THAT young!" Oops, that's not how she should talk.
The man laughed.
"Of course not, yet you are all alone, and obviously far from home. Come, let me make you a sandwich. You'll have to tell me what your doing all the way out here." How'd he know where she lived?
"I can't stay long, I'm searching for the black wizard who lives in the dark wood so I can avenge my father and free my family from the curse of the midnight crow." She nodded her head proudly. She'd finally got it all right on the first try.
The man stopped, blinked, and blinked again. His smile wavered somewhat.
"What an odd thing for such a grown up girl to say. One who plans revenge shouldn't go around telling everyone, I dare say." He paused. The woods seemed to darken and the breeze whispered strangely in her ear. Nyara felt a bit of fear for the first time since leaving home. "What would be to happen if you told the wrong person."
The sun returned and the breeze sounded like a breeze again. The man's smile was back warmer than ever. "Come, at least eat a sandwich before you go. You'll have to tell me all about it once your sitting at my kitchen table."
"Ok!" She was really very hungry after all, her revenge could wait for bit. She looked around one last time before leaving and noticed a strange thing. Where she had been laying, two fairystools had grown and a tiny gnome perched on a mouse's back was placing a tiny wooden sign by them both. Nyara meowed in confusion. The gnome looked up. His bald head grew red, he stammered something in gnomish and he and the mouse dissappeared into the thicket. Nyara turned to ask the tall man if he had seen the gnome, when suddenly a blur came from above and landed on his head with a flurry of yellow feathers.
"YU! FAHi WAH" *eep eep eep* "Zackaaagah" *eep eep eep* "ZOOFAAAAH!" With an echoing ZAAAP the creature flew from the man, and landed on Nyara's shoulder. She stared in astonishment, as it growled and spat and bared its teeth angrily at the man, it's fur smoking slightly. When her gaze returned to him she saw that his face was covered in feathers, fur and... well it definitely wasn't dirt. As he wiped it away she saw that his smile had grown, and yet... his eyes were ANGRY! He quickly pulled out a stick and waved it at the bushes. There was a rustling and a chirping and a eerie green glow. Suddenly she was facing a giant, evil rat with a gnome on its head screaming "Beesie! Beesie!" in his tiny voice. The rat gazed at her with its beady, crimson eyes and it's wrinkly, patchy snout broke into a grimace of sharp teeth and flailing tongue. Nyara yelped in fear.
"Good luck with your revenge little girl! I'm sure your keen mind will be able to spot that black wizard of yours a league away! That is if you and your stupid canary don't get... too distracted." The man cackled and Nyara's skin crawled at the horrid sound. She ghasped when she saw that his teeth were yellow, broken and jagged. He'd probably never brushed his teeth in his life! He probably didn't eat sandwiches at all! Nyara ghasped again. What if he ate little girls? Nyara ghasped again! he probably would have eaten her! Nyara ghasped a fourth time! He was probably the black wizard!! As Nyara's headstrong perceptions ground to a halt and began to reverse, the wizards villianous smile (for that IS who he was) had slowly turned into a deep scowl.
"Of all the... WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY COMPLETELY BRAINDEAD NINNIES!! Get her you overgrown vermin! GET GET!!" Nyara looked away from the jumping, furious wizard, and back to the giant rat. It was staring at her with its mouth dropped, breathing fouly, drooling all over the grass and coping with the conflict in its magic addled mind between the monster's instinct to attack defenseless bystandards and the rodent's instinct to run from a cat.
While Nyara and the creature's natures were putting two and two together, the gnome was squeaking alarmingly and holding on for dear life, and the black wizard was yelling obscenities and turning purple in the face, the flying creature flew in front of Nyara with the two fairystools in its paws. She looked down in shock.
"Your a weasel! A weasel with wings! How cute!!" The weasel was losing height as it struggled against the weight of the giant mushrooms. She took them helpfully. They looked very tasty. The weasel was making funny little motions with its hands and its mouth. Nyara smiled. "Your so adorable!" The weasel made an odd "urk" sound. She looked back at the monster, trying to think of a way to save herself from this predicament. The giant rat seemed to be coming to a decision itself and was laying down to sleep (much to the gnomes relief who hopped down and ran back into the brush). The wizard ran up and down the garden, his face a contortion of malignancy, his wand outstretched as if searching for other creatures to corrupt.
With a final squeal of utter frustration and abondon, the weasel took a huge bite of one of the mushrooms.

All stood still. The wizard watched expectingly, Nyara gazed breathless, the gnome's tiny head gaped from the bushes. Even the rat's sleepy eyes were riveted on the winged weasel.
*Burp*
And the weasel turned into a Tortoise
*Burp*
And the Tortoise turned into a duck.
*quack* *burp*
"AAAAAAAAAH!!!" The evil black wizard, scourge of the velvet coast, defiler of the University of the Royal Hand and oppressor of the dark forest promptly screamed like a girl and ran back into the wood.

Nyara's tummy growled in the silence.