If people find homosexuality to be wrong, what harm did that do? I think you're attributing the hatefilled actions of the closeminded minority of people with anyone who says homosexuality is wrong.

So, let's say that instead of society saying homosexuality is ok, we all just agreed that even if we think its wrong to be homosexual, its just as wrong to hate someone for being homosexual. That would have saved all sorts of pain. What would be the difference?

Besides that it wouldn't have changed any absolutes. Hating people (for any reason) could just as well be an absolute.