Disproving God has never been so funny..

"Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindboggingly useful could have evolved
purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence
of God.
"The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,"says God, "for proof denies faith, and
without faith I am nothing.'
"But,"says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves
you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'
"Oh dear,"says God, "I hadn't thought of that,"and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
"Oh, that was easy,"says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that red is green and gets himself killed
on the next road crossing.

"Oh dear,"says God, "I hadn't thought of that,"and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.

I'm always reminded of this when I get into an argument with any rabid fundamentalist.

That's one of the worst arguments against God's existence I've ever heard. No offense.

and where's the "fun", you promised in the thread title?

a:God requires faith to exist (major premise)

b:Int. Design proves a God (minor premise)

I was walking across a bridge and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. So I ran over and said, 'Stop! Don't do it. There's so much to live for!'

He said, 'Like what?'
I said, 'Well, are you religious?'
'Yes.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?'
'Christian.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?'
'Protestant.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?'
'Baptist.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?'
He said, 'Baptist Church of God.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?'
'Reformed Baptist Church of God.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?'
He said, 'Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915.'
I said, 'DIE, HERETIC SCUM!' and I pushed him off.

it's not about superiority, it's about being able to have fellowship with like-minded Christians.

actually false premise. God requires nothing from us.

quoting Christians who use the word "proves" over-zealously. "supports His existence" would probably be better.

but all in all that one's really funny, and prompted me to look up "Rastafarianism", which is really interesting :P


julz

As a new convert, I urge you to research Pastafarianism.

The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale, and the strippers have VD.

I'm sorry to dissapoint. In my inferior mind the arguement did made sense..

So, either you need to review your Bible that says God doesn't show up because he wants to give people freedom of choice or say that Int. Design doesn't really prove God but you can't have the pie and eat it too cause the two together clash (like a zillion other things in this religion).

I understand that this thread is meant for fun, but being that I'm a disagreeable jerk, I think I'll nitpick your logic anyway. smile

Really, this could be part of a much larger epistemic argument, which I don't have the wherewithall to participate in. However, my initial reaction would be to ask you to quote the verse which says that God doesn't appear because that would prove His existence. I don't recall such a verse. If you can quote that verse, then we can talk.

C would be Judaism - it's old and restrictive, but most of the world is familiar with its laws and respects them. The catch is, you can't convert into it - you're either into it from the start, or you will think that it's insanity. Also, when things go wrong, many people are willing to blame the problems of the world on it.

Java would be Fundamentalist Christianity - it's theoretically based on C, but it voids so many of the old laws that it doesn't feel like the original at all. Instead, it adds its own set of rigid rules, which its followers believe to be far superior to the original. Not only are they certain that it's the best language in the world, but they're willing to burn those who disagree at the stake.

PHP would be Cafeteria Christianity - Fights with Java for the web market. It draws a few concepts from C and Java, but only those that it really likes. Maybe it's not as coherent as other languages, but at least it leaves you with much more freedom and ostensibly keeps the core idea of the whole thing. Also, the whole concept of "goto hell" was abandoned.

C++ would be Islam - It takes C and not only keeps all its laws, but adds a very complex new set of laws on top of it. It's so versatile that it can be used to be the foundation of anything, from great atrocities to beautiful works of art. Its followers are convinced that it is the ultimate universal language, and may be angered by those who disagree. Also, if you insult it or its founder, you'll probably be threatened with death by more radical followers.

C# would be Mormonism - At first glance, it's the same as Java, but at a closer look you realize that it's controlled by a single corporation (which many Java followers believe to be evil), and that many theological concepts are quite different. You suspect that it'd probably be nice, if only all the followers of Java wouldn't discriminate so much against you for following it.

Lisp would be Zen Buddhism - There is no syntax, there is no centralization of dogma, there are no deities to worship. The entire universe is there at your reach - if only you are enlightened enough to grasp it. Some say that it's not a language at all; others say that it's the only language that makes sense.

Haskell would be Taoism - It is so different from other languages that many people don't understand how can anyone use it to produce anything useful. Its followers believe that it's the true path to wisdom, but that wisdom is beyond the grasp of most mortals.

Erlang would be Hinduism - It's another strange language that doesn't look like it could be used for anything, but unlike most other modern languages, it's built around the concept of multiple simultaneous deities.

Perl would be Voodoo - An incomprehensible series of arcane incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task at 21:00 on friday night.

Lua would be Wicca - A pantheistic language that can easily be adapted for different cultures and locations. Its code is very liberal, and allows for the use of techniques that might be described as magical by those used to more traditional languages. It has a strong connection to the moon.

Ruby would be Neo-Paganism - A mixture of different languages and ideas that was beaten together into something that might be identified as a language. Its adherents are growing fast, and although most people look at them suspiciously, they are mostly well-meaning people with no intention of harming anyone.

Python would be Humanism: It's simple, unrestrictive, and all you need to follow it is common sense. Many of the followers claim to feel relieved from all the burden imposed by other languages, and that they have rediscovered the joy of programming. There are some who say that it is a form of pseudo-code.

COBOL would be Ancient Paganism - There was once a time when it ruled over a vast region and was important, but nowadays it's almost dead, for the good of us all. Although many were scarred by the rituals demanded by its deities, there are some who insist on keeping it alive even today.

APL would be Scientology - There are many people who claim to follow it, but you've always suspected that it's a huge and elaborate prank that got out of control.

LOLCODE would be Pastafarianism - An esoteric, Internet-born belief that nobody really takes seriously, despite all the efforts to develop and spread it.

Visual Basic would be Satanism - Except that you don't REALLY need to sell your soul to be a Satanist...

Visual Basic would be Satanism - Except that you don't REALLY need to sell your soul to be a Satanist...