Whats that I see, a trailer brand-new?
Hopefully my criticism was heard by you!
There are few things in life better than flying text,
but animations and more fit generation next
So what do I see? The logo in red,
it looks like an idea from the top of your head
a few changes here and some more there,
but blood instead ice? How can you dare?
The trailer goes on, I see a green mess,
the camera moves: that's leaves, god bless!
That might not be so bad in the game
but as start for a trailer? You should feel deep shame.
I also do love how they escape in slow-motion
as if they were going to the shop, buying lotion.
A car is shown, on a not-cheesy floor it sits
but what is that light I see on the front lid?
It does look like a huge error to me
As Americans put it, oh say, can you see?
The environment looks quite certainly bland,
and now Mr. Chainsaw is raising his hand
an animation so slight and low-key to boot
But look! All of a sudden, theres fire under the hood!
What the hell happened - thats what we ask
make the animation clearer, right now its a farce.
For heavens sake I'm just ten seconds in
I hope this poem isn't done for nothing.
A character moves past a brown wall, very plain
his search for detail most likely in vain -
but no! Behold, there is a door over there,
I'm glad I noticed, the grey of the street was hard to bear*!
Yes, I know, it's toony, so maybe its okay,
not so much the distance between building and alley
I wouldn't want my door to open to a street,
with quite some traffic, that I'd often meet.
But for some reason the street, its locked away,
I don't know why, an accident - say?
That can't be: People are moving, they seem to be lost
one of them screams: "Avoid that house at all costs!
The door, can't you see, it's right on the street!
And then theres a vampire that won't let us bleed
I don't know why but she doesn't act
like you expect vampires, thats a fact."
To stress his warning, he runs towards her
a fatal flaw that is not easy to bear
It does make you wonder about the AI
as if it was dumber than your usual fly.
(Of course, thats exaggerated, but else it won't rhyme
and looking at this, I've spent too much of my time
on this already, I now cannot end!)
Now text flies in, the message it sends,
is clear as it tells us: The beginning was wrong,
Ice, not blood, we learn before long.
It then moves away on paths hard to gasp
Then a man runs away as if chased by wasps
but no! In fact, he was just injured badly,
at least thats what it looked like, sadly
But still, he seems to be fit and in shape
and easily able to leave the farm through its gate.
I sure hope that you remove their cries [and with that I mean: the sprites that appear. Of course, now I've messed up my own timing - Is all of this true or were I just rhyming?!],
or else an error will end this not nice!
The vampirelady just flies around
what, is she supposed to haunt?
The names fly in there, the characters run,
but so slow! Whats up, is there a ban?
We finally learn the places they call home,
with puns like these I feel so alone (they make me die inside!)
Oh, whatever, I'm past the half-mark
I tell you, rhyming is a tedious task!
I might just mention the music now,
good work, but there seems to be clipping or so!
Please fix that quick, I'd be very glad
it would indeed be totally rad.
Cartoonstyle aside, please add some detail
to the textures - right now its dismal!
The pavement-texture (below the burning car)
with its detail it is now the star!
Just green for grass, that just won't cut it,
Some Structure, depth, if only some bit!
However, the pavement is still not perfect,
No: their scale is too high, in fact!
Now why is there a barricade [36 seconds in]
does the city await a gruesome fate?
With war and tanks and blood and all?
But then, why is there only a part?
Or maybe its something else - but smart
as you are you realize: If thats the case,
you now have a model to replace.
And is it just me, or do sometimes objects
block the view to the character in fact?
Fifty seconds in, there is just that sound -
Why that? If that were quitting the round
I was playing then surely I'd be mad,
I couldn't see that trap, why is that?!
Instead I can only see something brown,
a roof I guess, out of the town.
Now theres a horse, right next to a spotlight,
I can't think of a reason for this that feels right.
Why is that so? Is there an explanation?
Or will I wait for that until starvation?
Anyway, thats probably not so important,
I better go on witht his pointless rant.
You should increase the size of the score,
the most important thing, without it it'd be sore!
Just add an audience and combo-chains,
then people would play when outside it rains!
Whats there won't suffice: You should give more feedback
Thats something a game about scores shouldn't lack!
Make stars appear and numbers flash,
but make sure I notice progress.
All in all, its not so bad,
but a few things will make players sad:
First of all, the animation-speed:
It's ridiculous now, not at all "leet".
There also isn't feedback enough,
there should, though, else motivation is tough.
Remember also: Increase texture-detail
just one color will make you fail.
Reduce logical errors and all the rest
to improve the game and make it the best!
Well, as far as mindless scorebrawlers go,
its limited in stories, but who doesn't know?
Okay, so I'm no good at rhyming. I'm aware that there are some mistakes in the above, but you try to rhyme that much, okay?
Also: If that sounded harsh, I'm sorry. It had to rhyme

You know that I don't mean it quite like that, but there still is plenty to improve. I hope I gave you a few ideas. Also, how do you plan on releasing this? Publisher? Sell it through your own website? Freeware (I think you said you want to make money with this, so...)? That'd be interesting to know. In case that you aren't already finished with your publishertalks, maybe we can also suggest ways to improve the appeal of your game to a bigger targetaudience - right now, I'm having a little trouble to specifically point it down, can you help me with that?