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Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: Why_Do_I_Die] #132733
05/31/07 09:18
05/31/07 09:18
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
aztec Offline OP

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aztec  Offline OP

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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
But I didnt want it to be a cartony game it should be smething like
Hotel manager or something like that.
But I will check the pics
I got a little update here I added a neonsign a for Sale sign and inside the Pub is a Table and 2 chairs
please let me know what you think of it
Best Regards
Aztec



Visit:
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Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: aztec] #132734
05/31/07 09:23
05/31/07 09:23
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 652
Netherlands
bstudio Offline
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bstudio  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 652
Netherlands
Please update the textures, the standard ones don't look too good. Buy them if necessary, there are some great textures available at not too high prices (the ones of Frank for example) and they add more atmosphere to the game. As far as the rest goes, i can't really give criticism on that because there is little information. All that there is now is a intro and a model of a pub. But if you keep up working on this I expect it to become better (and hopefully interesting)

Edit:
oh, maybe do something about the lighting, you can't really tell that there is a welcome sign there

Last edited by bstudio; 05/31/07 09:23.

BASIC programmers never die, they GOSUB and don't RETURN.
Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: bstudio] #132735
05/31/07 10:45
05/31/07 10:45
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
aztec Offline OP

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aztec  Offline OP

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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
allright so do you mean textures for the pub as a Moddel or for the street?
and actually tath Sign is an open Sign not a welcome sign but that doesnt make
but thx for the tips I´ll have a look at the textures
Regards
Aztec


Visit:
schwenkschuster-design.de
Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: aztec] #132736
05/31/07 12:30
05/31/07 12:30

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A



Ich würde die szene am tag machen.Und noch eine Stadt im hintergrund machen.Der regen kann bleiben finde ich weil es ja ein Pech Tag ist.Und das Neon schild würde ich auch blau machen nicht schwarz,das sieht dann komisch aus.Aber sonst für den anfang ist das schon ganz ok.Ich denke wenn du da weiter arbeitest dann wird das sicher noch besser.

Fear411

Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: ] #132737
05/31/07 12:34
05/31/07 12:34
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
aztec Offline OP

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aztec  Offline OP

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Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
Okay aber Tag wäre zu schwer weil dann alle Häuser und so zu sehen sein müssten
und dass stell ich mir ziemlich schwer vor
danke trotzdem
Mfg
Aztec


Visit:
schwenkschuster-design.de
Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: aztec] #132738
05/31/07 14:37
05/31/07 14:37
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
aztec Offline OP

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aztec  Offline OP

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Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
Okay now I think I will leave it that way
I think it a good start for a non comercial game
and goes along pretty good but I´ll add that reading thing
as you all said
so this is the last pic of the Intro I got now

Regards
Aztec


Visit:
schwenkschuster-design.de
Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: aztec] #132739
05/31/07 15:55
05/31/07 15:55
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,002
Europe
ShoreVietam Offline
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ShoreVietam  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,002
Europe
One hint for rain:

- create a tga sprite with 3x3 pixels
- fill it with the raindrop-color
- the alpha channel is totally black, exept the middle pixel which has to be white
- activate "BEAM" in your effect function

Watch how it looks like


My project Schlacht um Kyoto - Das Samurai Browsergame! (sorry, german only)
Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: aztec] #132740
05/31/07 16:19
05/31/07 16:19
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,208
Germany
Error014 Offline
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Error014  Offline
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Posts: 3,208
Germany
People are going to hate me for this. Also, some of these things were mentioned already. I mentioned it again for emphasis.

What kind of intro IS that, anyway? And why are you starting development with the intro? As was already mentioned, the text you've got there is horrible. But compared to your first screenshot, it's better. Thats not saying so much, honestly, but at least its a start.

It still is superdark. Maybe you want to do that and intend to create athmosphere through this, but maybe you should change that. Because, although I can't speak for everyone, that doesnt look so athmospheric to me. So I am in a city? Chicago, you say? Well, good to know, I guess, because it certainly doesn't look like it! I can see one house and a giant icecube next to it (which, I guess, might be a house as well). There are also no windows. And the texture is a little stretched. And the roof - well, who knows whats with the roof! I don't, its completely black!
I also think that it'd be wise to let this scene take place at night. Make it day! Let me see that there is a city, that there are people (yeah, there are two walking past this abandoned building into the darkness, even though they don't seem to be affected by the nonexistant light, which is again something you might want to change. Its also raining, and they just walk in their slow pace in the middle of the night). Why should I open a pub on a desperate street with only two people going in the middle of the night while its raining without any apparent reason? There is NOBODY HERE, it seems. No wonder that I'm poor when I open my pubs in places where nobody is!

So your game starts in the middle of the night, apparently there is also fog and its probable that the player wears sunglasses (thats the only way I can explain THAT darkness).

So onto the font, then. Looks like you used "Arial". Yeah, thats the font we all have in mind when we think of 1935. Personally, I prefered the first font. Even though it was too big and the letterspacing is wonky, it fit the timeframe better. You made it using a fontgenerator, I suppose? Well, it might be worth to edit it or to create a new one from scratch, although I know that this process can be painful.
Right now, the text is just weird. Its position doesn't make sense, its just somewhere on the screen. Its not even on the center! You could also place it at the top or bottom, you know, where your borders are. The size of the font also seems random. I know its not, because its the default size, but please. All in all, it lacks polish. It seems lazy and like you didn't even try. Its so easy to change that, but it will go a long way.
Maybe you want to seperate the text into several units? It doesn't matter so much right now - because the "story" (and I use the term loosely) is not really that great. It's an idea for a scenario, btu it isn't formulated well. I guess you'll change that and maybe, if you feel generous, add a punctuation mark or two. Why don't you make it appear like its typed on a typewriter? That would fit.


So we're in the time that Capone lived in. In Chicago. AND its a videogame that has a story, apparently. Did you choose the timeframe without any reason or do you want to incorporate something along these lines into the story? Because, you know, that might be expected by some people.

The video shows the elaborate cameramovement. It's... well, it's a camera that rotates around something that might be called a building in the loosest sense of the word. Heck, its not even centered! But, yes, you did that intentional for the effect. And then there is the grey building and its completely dark below it! Huh? What did happen? Is it floating? It must be, because thats how it looks. Whats with the sound? Do you want me to hear this forever? There is even a windowssound right in there! Why did you do THAT? And what am I hearing, anyway? Where does the sound come from? After all, it is NIGHT ON A COMPLETELY EMPTY ROAD with nobody near the thing. Aside from two people, but last time I checked, people dont make noises like that, at least not most of them.

Why did you make the grey bars transparent? Why did you include them in the first place? Its not like I could spot a difference to the blackness that is the rest of the screen. Black borders are one thing, but grey? It looks weird. Yeah, movie, I guess. Still, make them black and don't make them transparent.

Quote:

its just a opening scene you will never see that house again during the game its just to know where youre working




What kind of lazy excuse is THAT?! It is your INTRO, my friend! Thats the first that anyone sees who plays your game. Be honest with you. If you started the game and then saw that intro, would you continue playing? maybe you wpuld, but your expectations would have been lowered quite a bit. Add polish to your intro. Don't overdo it, don't make it too long, don't bombard me with too much text (it helps to give these sentence by sentence), don't let me hear a constantly looping, four-second-long sound that is annoying even before it finished the first time. Right now, I'd prefer a nice picture to this. Also, why don't you use what you've done here? Let me change the building later on, let me add things and let me see how it changes in that 3d-scene. Just don't let me think that I'm the owner of a pub in the middle of blackness.

If it is my pub, it'd be cool if I could recognize that its a pub. Right now, it takes too long to do that.

Quote:

Okay aber Tag wäre zu schwer weil dann alle Häuser und so zu sehen sein müssten




Make it day. Reasons were already given. Add polish. Make it look nice. Its your intro, after all.

So... in summary: Make it less dark. Make it so I can see something. Add polish. Change the font. Change the text. CHANGE THE TEXT. Make the borders different. Don't throw all the text at me at once. Don't stretch the textures. Keep logical errors to a minimum. Add more exciting cameramovement. Change the background noise. Think of something original - the story right now is a little boring. Why should I care? I play because I'm afraid of taxes? Truly heroic.

Okay, I think I'm done.


Perhaps this post will get me points for originality at least.

Check out Dungeon Deities! It's amazing and will make you happy, successful and almost certainly more attractive! It might be true!
Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: Error014] #132741
05/31/07 16:49
05/31/07 16:49
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
aztec Offline OP

Expert
aztec  Offline OP

Expert

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,332
Germany, BaWü
Quote:

People are going to hate me for this. Also, some of these things were mentioned already. I mentioned it again for emphasis.

What kind of intro IS that, anyway? And why are you starting development with the intro? As was already mentioned, the text you've got there is horrible. But compared to your first screenshot, it's better. Thats not saying so much, honestly, but at least its a start.

It still is superdark. Maybe you want to do that and intend to create athmosphere through this, but maybe you should change that. Because, although I can't speak for everyone, that doesnt look so athmospheric to me. So I am in a city? Chicago, you say? Well, good to know, I guess, because it certainly doesn't look like it! I can see one house and a giant icecube next to it (which, I guess, might be a house as well). There are also no windows. And the texture is a little stretched. And the roof - well, who knows whats with the roof! I don't, its completely black!
I also think that it'd be wise to let this scene take place at night. Make it day! Let me see that there is a city, that there are people (yeah, there are two walking past this abandoned building into the darkness, even though they don't seem to be affected by the nonexistant light, which is again something you might want to change. Its also raining, and they just walk in their slow pace in the middle of the night). Why should I open a pub on a desperate street with only two people going in the middle of the night while its raining without any apparent reason? There is NOBODY HERE, it seems. No wonder that I'm poor when I open my pubs in places where nobody is!

So your game starts in the middle of the night, apparently there is also fog and its probable that the player wears sunglasses (thats the only way I can explain THAT darkness).

So onto the font, then. Looks like you used "Arial". Yeah, thats the font we all have in mind when we think of 1935. Personally, I prefered the first font. Even though it was too big and the letterspacing is wonky, it fit the timeframe better. You made it using a fontgenerator, I suppose? Well, it might be worth to edit it or to create a new one from scratch, although I know that this process can be painful.
Right now, the text is just weird. Its position doesn't make sense, its just somewhere on the screen. Its not even on the center! You could also place it at the top or bottom, you know, where your borders are. The size of the font also seems random. I know its not, because its the default size, but please. All in all, it lacks polish. It seems lazy and like you didn't even try. Its so easy to change that, but it will go a long way.
Maybe you want to seperate the text into several units? It doesn't matter so much right now - because the "story" (and I use the term loosely) is not really that great. It's an idea for a scenario, btu it isn't formulated well. I guess you'll change that and maybe, if you feel generous, add a punctuation mark or two. Why don't you make it appear like its typed on a typewriter? That would fit.


So we're in the time that Capone lived in. In Chicago. AND its a videogame that has a story, apparently. Did you choose the timeframe without any reason or do you want to incorporate something along these lines into the story? Because, you know, that might be expected by some people.

The video shows the elaborate cameramovement. It's... well, it's a camera that rotates around something that might be called a building in the loosest sense of the word. Heck, its not even centered! But, yes, you did that intentional for the effect. And then there is the grey building and its completely dark below it! Huh? What did happen? Is it floating? It must be, because thats how it looks. Whats with the sound? Do you want me to hear this forever? There is even a windowssound right in there! Why did you do THAT? And what am I hearing, anyway? Where does the sound come from? After all, it is NIGHT ON A COMPLETELY EMPTY ROAD with nobody near the thing. Aside from two people, but last time I checked, people dont make noises like that, at least not most of them.

Why did you make the grey bars transparent? Why did you include them in the first place? Its not like I could spot a difference to the blackness that is the rest of the screen. Black borders are one thing, but grey? It looks weird. Yeah, movie, I guess. Still, make them black and don't make them transparent.

Quote:

its just a opening scene you will never see that house again during the game its just to know where youre working




What kind of lazy excuse is THAT?! It is your INTRO, my friend! Thats the first that anyone sees who plays your game. Be honest with you. If you started the game and then saw that intro, would you continue playing? maybe you wpuld, but your expectations would have been lowered quite a bit. Add polish to your intro. Don't overdo it, don't make it too long, don't bombard me with too much text (it helps to give these sentence by sentence), don't let me hear a constantly looping, four-second-long sound that is annoying even before it finished the first time. Right now, I'd prefer a nice picture to this. Also, why don't you use what you've done here? Let me change the building later on, let me add things and let me see how it changes in that 3d-scene. Just don't let me think that I'm the owner of a pub in the middle of blackness.

If it is my pub, it'd be cool if I could recognize that its a pub. Right now, it takes too long to do that.

Quote:

Okay aber Tag wäre zu schwer weil dann alle Häuser und so zu sehen sein müssten




Make it day. Reasons were already given. Add polish. Make it look nice. Its your intro, after all.

So... in summary: Make it less dark. Make it so I can see something. Add polish. Change the font. Change the text. CHANGE THE TEXT. Make the borders different. Don't throw all the text at me at once. Don't stretch the textures. Keep logical errors to a minimum. Add more exciting cameramovement. Change the background noise. Think of something original - the story right now is a little boring. Why should I care? I play because I'm afraid of taxes? Truly heroic.

Okay, I think I'm done.



That was quite a lot to read but I passed it
I think I´m done too
for now
however I´ll continue
and I have to add:
the bars are not transparent they just fade in.
There is a road with cars moving.
I can´t see the black shadow under the house (or the ice cube)
The text is scrolling because of that it start at the bottom
everybody complained about the first font.
but thx for the tipps
Regards
Aztec

Last edited by aztec; 05/31/07 16:54.

Visit:
schwenkschuster-design.de
Re: Pizza-Empire(Intro) [Re: aztec] #132742
05/31/07 22:19
05/31/07 22:19
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,439
Red Dwarf
Michael_Schwarz Offline
Senior Expert
Michael_Schwarz  Offline
Senior Expert

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,439
Red Dwarf
i have to agree with error014 in 101%.. just what i was thinking when I wrote my first entry - but i am not good in writing, so just resumed it.


"Sometimes JCL reminds me of Notch, but more competent" ~ Kiyaku
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