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Re: Disproving God has never been so funny..
[Re: LarryLaffer]
#238890
12/01/08 00:43
12/01/08 00:43
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,538 WA, Australia
JibbSmart
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a:God requires faith to exist (major premise) actually false premise. God requires nothing from us. b:Int. Design proves a God (minor premise) quoting Christians who use the word "proves" over-zealously. "supports His existence" would probably be better. the last three were great (including the picture) the Pinocchio one especially. the Baptist one much less so, just because by the time i got to the bottom i already predicted the outcome. it probably should've been shorter if the purpose was just to be funny. julz
Formerly known as JulzMighty. I made KarBOOM!
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Re: Disproving God has never been so funny..
[Re: Joozey]
#238902
12/01/08 03:21
12/01/08 03:21
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,538 WA, Australia
JibbSmart
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it actually resembles poorly what's going on between minority groups. well, that's a generalisation on my part, but any church i've been with (whatever the denomination) has had a close relationship with other churches of other denominations. this closeness is Christianity as it should be anywhere else.
it's not about superiority, it's about being able to have fellowship with like-minded Christians. denominations are (usually) just labels for slightly varying beliefs within one (mostly) unified church. often these differences are as simple as one denomination giving church decisions to a congregational vote while another puts such decisions in the hands of a group of "elders" nominated by the congregation.
@Larry: i don't wanna derail the thread; just sometimes i've gotta say something about a misconception or misrepresentation of something i'm well-acquainted with.
julz
Formerly known as JulzMighty. I made KarBOOM!
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Re: Disproving God has never been so funny..
[Re: JibbSmart]
#238907
12/01/08 04:14
12/01/08 04:14
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 353
amy
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Re: Disproving God has never been so funny..
[Re: amy]
#238910
12/01/08 05:08
12/01/08 05:08
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,538 WA, Australia
JibbSmart
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i've never had a problem with political incorrectness, but sometimes i struggle with being overly picky with just plain incorrectness... i'll either have to refrain, or leave this thread altogether...
but all in all that one's really funny, and prompted me to look up "Rastafarianism", which is really interesting :P
my favourites are the Buddhism and Judaism ones, as well as the climactic Rastafarianism.
julz
Formerly known as JulzMighty. I made KarBOOM!
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Re: Disproving God has never been so funny..
[Re: JibbSmart]
#238968
12/01/08 14:19
12/01/08 14:19
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 8,177 Netherlands
PHeMoX
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I was walking across a bridge and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. So I ran over and said, 'Stop! Don't do it. There's so much to live for!'
He said, 'Like what?' I said, 'Well, are you religious?' 'Yes.' I said, 'Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?' 'Christian.' I said, 'Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?' 'Protestant.' I said, 'Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?' 'Baptist.' I said, 'Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?' He said, 'Baptist Church of God.' I said, 'Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?' 'Reformed Baptist Church of God.' I said, 'Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?' He said, 'Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915.' I said, 'DIE, HERETIC SCUM!' and I pushed him off. Very funny indeed. it's not about superiority, it's about being able to have fellowship with like-minded Christians. It has even more to do with peer-pressure psychology. Make people believe they are part of a much bigger group and they are easier influenced. Eventually it is all about make-believe and a certain kind of superiority. If they wouldn't believe their version is the best, wouldn't they just join a different group? Cheers
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Re: Disproving God has never been so funny..
[Re: PHeMoX]
#239253
12/03/08 17:13
12/03/08 17:13
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,205 Greece
LarryLaffer
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Greece
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a:God requires faith to exist (major premise) actually false premise. God requires nothing from us. You know what I mean.. Everytime I meet a christian and ask him why god doesn't show up, the argument is always the same. He wants us to be free whether to believe in him or not. So without faith, you can't really tell if he exists or not just by logic alone.. He has even spread fake fossils around to fool people and question their faith that tricky bastard :P (my apologies for the blasphemy) b:Int. Design proves a God (minor premise) quoting Christians who use the word "proves" over-zealously. "supports His existence" would probably be better. and then you say that by observing nature you get indisputable evidence that there's a designer. So, that's what I'm saying, it's a pretty good argument despite Irish's disapproval.. But other than defending Douglas's joke, i don't mean to convert anyone in this topic or extend this any further.. I almost didn't want to write this post to begin with.. But let's make up for all the boring back-n-forth with more religion jokes.. ------------- The Pope is visiting a town and all the residents are lining the street, hoping for a blessing. The Mayor is sure the Pope will stop and talk to him, but is surprised when the Pope ignores him completely and whispers a few words to a filthy old tramp standing on the other side of the road. 'Of course!' thinks the Mayor. 'The Pope cares more for the poor and homeless, not the rich like me!' With this he dashes over to the tramp, buys his clothes, gets into them, then runs to the end of the street and lines up again. Sure enough the Pope sees the Mayor and walks over to talk to him. 'Hey, stinky,' whispers the Pope. 'I thought I told you to get lost.' ------------- Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: 'Saul, sell your business.' He ignores it. It goes on for days. 'Saul, sell your business for $3 million.' After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says, 'Saul, go to Las Vegas.' He asks why. 'Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas.' He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, 'Saul, go to the blackjack table and put it all down on one hand.' He hesitates but knows he must. He's dealt an eighteen; the dealer has a six showing. 'Saul take a card.' 'What? The dealer has -' 'Take a card!' He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easily. 'Saul, take another card.' 'What?' 'TAKE ANOTHER CARD!' He asks for another card. It's another ace. He has twenty. 'Saul, take another card,' the voice commands. 'I have twenty!' Saul shouts. 'TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!' booms the voice. 'Hit me,' Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty-one. The booming voice goes: 'UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!' --------------
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Re: Disproving God has never been so funny..
[Re: JibbSmart]
#239260
12/03/08 18:11
12/03/08 18:11
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 218 Nashua NH
heinekenbottle
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but all in all that one's really funny, and prompted me to look up "Rastafarianism", which is really interesting :P
julz
As a new convert, I urge you to research Pastafarianism.
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Re: Disproving God has never been so funny..
[Re: LarryLaffer]
#239329
12/03/08 23:44
12/03/08 23:44
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,538 WA, Australia
JibbSmart
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common Christian arguments sadly rarely have a sound theological basis, but you're right, discussion thereof is for another thread perhaps. that black-jack one was hilarious it could even have been a totally serious testimony until the last line. that's probably what makes it so great. Pastafarianism? just had a look: The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale, and the strippers have VD. hilarious of course i read much more than that, but i think that's particularly funny, as well as the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts. julz
Formerly known as JulzMighty. I made KarBOOM!
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