Kinji, you have been a good man, and more important, you have been a good friend.

I am a strange individual, yes. I can't seem to understand my self either. Half of me wants to be the worst thing to live. yet a small part of me still loves. I often, despite what I sometimes feel, am a very kind person. I ask for nothing, and I try to give whatever I can to those who do not go against me.

When I'm alone, I get on a deeper level with myself, and find that I hate what I'm doing. I feel like I'm dying, slowly. As if I had cancer, in a way. I feel as if my hearts rotting away from the inside. I could easily give in to kindness, and become a better person, but I decide not to. I don't know why, but there is something about this hate and pain that I like, and I can't let go of it. So I let it consume me...

I hope I have answered your question.