You sound like a complete example of my life. :-) My wife is sitting here playing on her pc.. she read your post and says you sound exactly like me. (in the past, tats cover my body, eye brows pierced, ears full of scrap metal :-D Tongue still has a hole seems like a light pole could fit in. Music? The worst I could find.) I fought everything I knew was good. I played with music, god_smack and others... X.... u know what I mean. I did everything wrong thinking it was right and I had no clue about where I was going. I could look at everyone and wonder "Why are they so happy? I am not even CLOSE to leading the same life as them." I felt I was different. This day I KNOW things are different. You can to.